


the reason why we broke up.

by jingyeoms



Category: GOT7
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Markjin, Minor Character Death, lapslock, mostly fluff tbh, the angst except for the minor stuff at the beginning is honestly just filler stuff, the character death is super tiny idek why its there tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:43:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9264326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jingyeoms/pseuds/jingyeoms
Summary: the reason why mark and jinyoung broke up, and how they met again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> WHEEZES THIS GEM IS FINALLY DONE. inspired by cammie scott and shannon beveridge. i started writing this at like 2am and refused to sleep until it was done - i didn't finish when i slept at 4am but now it is 12am the next day and i am DONE. yes. yes. okay. i'm done. i hope you enjoy this.

the moment jinyoung turns on the camera and the red light flashes, mark bursts into tears.

jinyoung is insanely calm and mark wonders if this is hurting jinyoung as much as it was hurting himself but - what did he know. jinyoung was always an amazing actor.

the filming lights almost burn mark’s tear filled eyes, and when jinyoung sits down to start the video, mark leans over and pulls tissues from a tissue box and dabs at his eyes and his face. “so, i’m here, with my amazing best friend, mark.” mark’s heart clenches. _best friend_. he forces on a smile, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall again, leaning his head on jinyoung’s shoulder. he sees the way the skin around jinyoung’s eyes crinkle in the viewfinder - maybe they were still in love after all.

“we figured, that the last thing we should do is leave you guys in the dark. so, without further ado, this is why we broke up.” mark looks down at his hands that are folded in his lap, hoping the other is willing to do most of the talking. his eyes flicked back up to the camera, a heavy weight on his chest while jinyoung explains the state of unhappiness they were in while together. he lets jinyoung finish his thoughts before interjecting.

“i don't know if this goes both ways, but i’m still in love with jinyoung. nothing will change that.” he bites his lower lip, looking at jinyoung with sad eyes. “he’s still everything i’ve ever wanted, he’s still the love of my life. there's not a moment that i regret in our relationship. but all good things have to come to an end.”

“the same goes for me. there could be no one in my life that could ever replace him.”

“we were unhappy. it came to the point where we’d argue every second and every minute of the day and we were picking and finding all the things of what not to like about the other person. that's an immediate sign that things are going downhill. we tried to work it out, really, but no matter how hard we tried it didn't.”

“maybe one day we’ll return to each other. but we’ve already found our own places to live, we’re moving on. of course, it’s not like we’ll cut off contact completely. mark… will be moving to new york while i remain in san francisco.”

“i’m not moving to new york to run away, if that's what you think.” mark forces a laugh through his tears, shaking his head. “i’m going there for grad school.”

jinyoung nods. “mark is going to do amazing things out there. i know it.”

“anyway, i hope you guys understand us, and please, don’t leave any hate for anyone. we both have been extremely loyal throughout the time we were together, and remember that we love each other dearly.” jinyoung cracks a smile and stops the recording before turning off the camera. he sits back down next to mark, tears glistening in his eyes.

mark brushes jinyoung’s dark locks from his face and lets his own tears spill. “i love you. please don't ever forget that.”

jinyoung presses soft kisses to the apples of mark’s cheeks, a bittersweet smile feigning his lips.

**& 3 years later.**

jinyoung turns on his vlogging camera with a big grin, eyes crinkled in joy. “so, if you don’t follow me on social media, you wouldn’t know that for the next six months, i’m moving to new york city.” he pans his camera to show his packed suitcases lying around his room. “why, you ask? i made it to broadway! can you believe it? it's as if all my dreams have come true. i’m so stoked to share this journey with you guys for the next six months.”

the next clip is of him in the airport. “so it's about five in the morning, i just checked in for my flight, and i board in about twenty minutes. there, i’ll meet my manager jackson, whose apartment i’ll be getting cozy in for the next six months.” jinyoung's eyes sparkle.

the vlog continues with several shots from the plane, before he finally records a handsome blonde man. “this is jackson, everyone! expect him to frequent my videos.” jackson hops around with pep and energy, and jinyoung can't help but giggle, his hand coming up to cover his mouth.

jinyoung doesn't record for the rest of the day, busy settling into the apartment along with being dragged along by his excited manager to see the sights of new york city. they arrive back home by midnight, and jackson leaves for a while to take care of some business.

jinyoung takes the quiet time to wander around. he steps into the elevator going up to the rooftop, fingers tapping away lightheartedly at his phone until a ding resounds. he doesn't notice the other person step out with him into the cool nighttime air. the lighting is dim, but as the stranger passes by, jinyoung swears he knows the face. “no way.” jinyoung shakes his head and hums a tune, heading to the end of the rooftop to overview the nightlife.

“it's beautiful, don’t you think?” a voice - a _familiar_ voice - interrupts jinyoung's humming, and without a second thought, he responds.

“absolutely. i never imagined city life to be like this.”

“are you new?”

“yeah. i just moved in with jackson, on the fifth floor. i came from san francisco.”

“san francisco, huh? i used to live there a few years back. i miss the place. and the people.”

“it was about time i got out of there. and now i’m here, new york city. _sort of_ , the city of hopes and dreams.”

the stranger lets out a soft chuckle. “welcome to new york. i live right next door, by the way. so if jackson ever gets on your nerves, you’re free to come hang out with me.”

“right, thanks. i don't think i got your name.” jinyoung turns to face the stranger, breath hitching. “mark.”

“yeah, the name’s mark. how’d you know?”

“i’d know the face of my first love in a heartbeat.” mark falls silent.

jinyoung finds himself sitting across mark with a mug of hot tea - mark always kept tea around because he knew jinyoung liked tea more than he did coffee. he tapped his fingers against the mug, clinking noises echoing throughout the kitchen. “new york city, huh?”

“the city of hopes and dreams.” _to meet you again_ , he leaves out.

“i already know why you’re here. you made it to broadway.”

jinyoung nods excitedly, heart pumping in his chest. “you remembered.”

“i’d never forget. it was all you would talk about. i’m so proud of you, you know? i knew you’d make it.”

“after…” he chews on his lip. “after we broke up i auditioned for a lot of plays and musicals back home… i guess a playwright was watching and they wanted to cast me.”

“i was holding you back from your dreams.”

“absolutely not!” jinyoung protests - perhaps a little too quickly for his liking. “you _were_ my dreams at the time.” _you still are_.

“jinyoung, don’t be silly. i was in the way of your dreams. these are the things we argued about, remember?”

jinyoung flashes a tight lipped smile. “well, i’m going to turn in for the night. jackson is probably worried sick. it was nice to see you again. i really missed you.”

“i missed you too.”

-

the next time jinyoung runs into mark is when he’s attending an acting clinic at mark’s university - the clinic had just ended, as well as mark’s lecture.

mark confirms he never fell out of love with jinyoung. his heart still flutters when the whiskers around jinyoung’s eyes appear and his stomach still does backflips whenever their skin touches. he wonders how it's possible to still be so in love with someone you hadn't seen in so long.

jinyoung catches himself staring at mark a few times, enraptured in mark’s new hair color - when they had broken up he was blonde, and in that moment he's got deep black hair to match the irises of his eyes, that jinyoung finds himself lost in more times than once.

they start to hang out more often, mark often walking jinyoung to his rehearsals from school, and jinyoung seeing mark off to class after their lunch breaks. mark doesn't make an appearance in jinyoung’s vlogs yet - he's not sure if mark is comfortable with it and he's not sure if he’s ready to tell the world mark tuan is once again his planet earth.

mark accidentally appears in one of his vlogs - the clip shows jinyoung’s lunch for the day and jinyoung tries to edit it out, but if he does, his lunch wouldn’t even be shown. (or, he thinks mark looks really cute munching on his food and he wants it for keepsake.)

-

several comments flood in: _“is that mark?” “mark has gotten more handsome over the years” “are he and mark back together?” “mark lives in new york! it was fate!”_

jinyoung squirms around in bed at the thought of being back together with mark, going back and watching all the videos and vlogs they made together before their breakup. he doesn't let mark appear in any of his vlogs since then, both to protect his privacy and also not give anyone any sense of false hope about the two.

they’re good friends. he, jackson, and jinyoung go out for drinks on friday nights and they have fun, _as friends_.

-

“hey jinyoung,” jackson pipes up as they’re eating breakfast together one morning. “do you like mark?”

“of course i do. he’s my friend.”

“no- i mean do you _like_ mark.”

“it would be wrong to say i don't.” he sets his food aside. he never really explained their situation to jackson - perhaps it was biting him back in the ass.

“why don't you ask him out? it seems he likes you, too.”

“it's not that easy, jacks.” jinyoung sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.

“of course it is. you both look at each other like you have the entire world in your hands and i swear, there's constant sexual tension between you two. it's weird.”

“jackson, we used to date. long before either of us met you, we were in love. him and i. me and him.”

jackson’s jaw goes slack. “why did you break up?”

“we weren’t happy together. _we still loved each other_. for fucks sake, _i’m still in love with him_ , but we had to break up for the sake of our own happiness. we were in the way of each other’s dreams. we couldn't shine with the other attached to our tail. but now that i’m here…”

“you two are meant to be. i hope somewhere down the line you’re able to get over the fears of history repeating itself.” jackson grins his cheeky smile and stands up, walking his plate to the sink and washing it clean. “you have rehearsal at noon. be ready in an hour. oh, and i won't make it for drinks tonight. wang puppy has got a date.”

jinyoung only laughs. and heads back to his room to get ready.

mark raps at jinyoung’s door that night, greeting him with a bright smile. “hey, ready to go out?”

“absolutely.” jinyoung resists the urge to link his arm around mark’s or hold his hand. the elder is dressed in a warm turtleneck with his sleeves pulled over his hands, and jinyoung remembers how much he loved to cuddle him.

-

jinyoung takes another swig of his beer and mark starts to look a little blurry, his mind is a little fuzzy, but mark still looks gorgeous as ever. “mark.”

“hm?” mark isn't even half as drunk as jinyoung is - mark was always the one that drank less between the two, and usually took up the responsibility of taking the both of them home.

“i missed you.”

“i missed you too, jinyoungie.” he grins and pats jinyoung’s hands, sending chills down his spine.

“i still miss you.”

“why? i’m right here.”

“i miss you. i miss us.” jinyoung leans closer, mark’s face coming a little more into focus. his eyes flicker down to mark’s lips, and then back to his eyes. “i miss everything we used to be.”

“jinyoung,” mark breathes, a heaviness in his voice. “you’re being silly. we broke up. we’re over.”

jinyoung shakes his head, placing a hand on mark’s thigh and pressing their foreheads together. “i was never over you. my heart… still belongs to you.”

mark’s heart is pounding in his chest, but jinyoung is drunk, what can he believe? he’s in love - he's deep in love but he doesn't want anything that isn't sincere. “let’s get you home, jinyoung.” mark removes jinyoung's hand from his thigh and instead takes it into his own, slipping his fingers between the gaps and pulling the other flush to his side.

the moment mark opens the door to jinyoung’s apartment complex, he's pressed up against the now closed door and jinyoung's lips are kissing up his jaw - that was always mark’s favorite kisses to receive. “nyoung…”

“mark,” he sighs, eyes on mark’s lips for the second time that night. “can i kiss you?”

before mark can protest, jinyoung’s lips are on his, and he would be lying if he said he didn't miss the feeling. he can't help but melt into it, any kind of doubt immediately washed away by the tender yet fervent kiss. if mark is sober, he’s positive he’s drunk from kissing jinyoung alone - his mind becomes a blur and the rest of the night is behind him.

he wakes up next to jinyoung, the both of them stripped free of their clothes and his heart leaps out of his chest. jinyoung looks peaceful, however, and mark can't help but smile and run the tips of his fingers along jinyoung’s naked torso, tickling his skin. “please, don’t let this end.”

jinyoung’s long eyelashes indicate his waking up as they flutter, and as soon as his eyes are open, their eyes meet. jinyoung smiles that same smile that had mark tripping over his own feet. “am i dreaming?” his voice is hoarse and groggy. “markie, tell me i’m not dreaming.”

mark leans down for a kiss, and suddenly everything seems right. “i never stopped loving you.”

“pinch me.” mark chuckles and pinches the skin on jinyoung’s arm, giggling at the yelp he earns in return. jinyoung tackles mark down to lay on the bed, pinning his wrists down. “i missed you. please don't ever leave me again. i’m yours. i’ve always been yours. nothing could ever change that.”

“now that you’re here, i’d be pretty stupid to let you go again.” jinyoung drops his weight on mark’s chest and tangles their limbs together. “i love you.”

jackson’s head pokes through the room, disregarding the fact that the both are stark naked. “so i hate to break up the mush fest, but you have rehearsal in an hour.”

jinyoung looks behind him and groans. “alright. i’ll be ready.”

mark’s hands rest on his bare back. “i have classes, too. we can stay like this another day.”

-

it's opening night and jinyoung has locked himself away from jackson and mark out of nervousness - he leaves to broadway on his own, leaving mark and jackson clueless and on their own. jinyoung pulls out his vlog camera backstage after he's finished with makeup and costume, grinning and sighing loudly. “it's opening night, and i’m nervous as hell, but the show is going to be great.”

he records the production team and casts words of encouragement before he shuts off his camera and goes on standby for the opening number. he finds mark in the audience and immediately calms down, running through each number smoothly without a flaw. time comes for the whole cast to gather on stage, and as a main character, he flashes a wide smile and bows, hopping around the stage with adrenaline pumping through his veins. the curtains close and he exits the stage, immediately changing out of costume and removing his makeup.

he records again, giving jackson tight embrace, and remembering to put the camera down when he and mark share a sweet kiss.

-

jinyoung hits record and mark can't help but pull jinyoung in for a soft kiss as the red light flashes, happiness evident in his eyes. “so as a lot of you may have guessed, mark and i are back together.”

mark kisses behind jinyoung’s ear and the younger giggles, mumbling to cut it out or else they’ll never get the video finished. “turns out jackson lived right next door to mark. we met again on the rooftop and rekindled our fire. i guess fate really did bring us back together.”

“in the time we were apart, we never really saw anyone else. for a while we’d actually forgotten about each other, forgetting to keep contact and moving on with our lives, but in our hearts we were always there.”

“we know a lot of you guys were devastated about our split, but it was amazing to see how much you guys believed in us getting back together. if two people were meant to be, they’d find each other again, right?” jinyoung cocks his head to look at mark, and by impulse leans forward to peck his lips.

“you really believed in us more than we did.” mark chuckles. “you saw how much we loved each other and not once doubted our abilities to be together.” “thank you for having so much faith in us. we hope to show you the rawest parts of our journey together.” mark takes jinyoung’s hand into his own, pulling their intertwined hands into his lap to rest. “i love you.”

jinyoung brings their joined hands and presses his lips to the back of mark’s hand. “i love you too.”

-

the vlog begins with a bittersweet kiss between mark and jinyoung, tears staining both their faces. “it's only two months. we’ll be okay.”

jinyoung leaves back to california to settle some things after the broadway show ends, although having permanently moved in with mark already. but california is only a short stop before he leaves the country for two months.

“it really sucks.” jinyoung laughs to himself, now in his bedroom back in san francisco. “having to leave the person you love. i can only imagine what it felt like for mark when he boarded his flight to new york. he didn't even know if we’d ever see each other again.”

he rests his chin on the back of his hands, camera propped up by the headrest of his bed frame. “i miss him so much.” a ping sounds from his phone, and he giggles when he opens a video of mark making kissy faces and pouting. “tomorrow i go back to korea, and i’ll be there for two months with my family. i wish mark could have come along.”

he dials mark’s number and the call gets picked up immediately. “jinyoungie.”

“my love. i miss you.”

“i miss you just as much. i can't wait to see you in april. don't worry so much about me, okay? worry about your mom. take good care of her and be strong for her. she's the most important right now.” “she’d love to see you.” “and i’d love to see her. but i just can't abandon my studies for two months. it’ll fly by.”

“you’re right.” jinyoung stops recording and sets his camera down.

“jinyoungie?”

“hm?” “stay with me until i fall asleep? i miss you here and it's hard to sleep.”

“of course.”

-

jinyoung records a lot of his journey in korea - he leaves out his trips to the hospital and constant breakdowns, and instead inserts clips of him playing with his nieces and nephews or going on a brother-sister date. but he never records the darkest moments until it comes.

the first minute of the video is almost silent, and nothing but jinyoung’s soft sniffles can be heard. “so, here's a life update.”

“a lot of you became worried when i forgot to edit out the clip i had with mark on the phone. and yes - major things have changed in my life, i’ve spent the last few days spending important time with my family, and all i can ask of you is your understanding. it's tough. it really is. my heart is the heaviest it's ever been, and despite having my family here, mark is back in new york and there's only so much he can do to cease my nightmares and my sadness from such a far distance.” he hugs his knees to his chest, sighing and taking deep breaths. “i’m sorry. i couldn't just leave you in the dark. this might be my last upload until i’m feeling okay. i’m unsure of how long that will be but i’ll try my best to come back speedy quick.”

the door of his bedroom clicks open and jinyoung watches in the viewfinder, about to scold his sister for interrupting when he realizes it was the one person he was looking for. “mark.”

mark climbs onto the bed next to jinyoung and embraces him tightly - and all jinyoung can do is sob. mark is calm and rubs his back, whispering encouraging and strengthening words.

“why are you here? you weren't… there's still a month…”

“i got on a flight as soon as you called me, baby.” he pulls away and wipes jinyoung’s tears, tucking loose strands of hair behind his ears. “i saw her, already. and i just couldn't leave you here, miserable, for a month.”

“you're amazing. i love you.” jinyoung hiccups a few times and mark kisses his tears away, gentleness in his touch. “i missed you so much. mom wouldn't stop talking about you. she kept asking about you, where you were, how you were doing.”

“it's like she wanted to see me more than you did.”

“that's because she did.” mark chuckles and turns off the camera, ending jinyoung's video abruptly.

“you’ll be okay. everything will be okay. she's in a better place now, nothing can harm her.”

“now that you're here, everything feels a little more in place.”

-

jinyoung’s first new video is recorded and uploaded when he’s back in new york.

“you’d think we’d have done this video before the split, huh?”

“well, there’s a first for everything. there's a lot of questions, so we should go through this pretty quickly. we both know you can get a bit chatty.”

jinyoung hits mark’s arm, earning him a whine and a pout, and mark won't forgive him until he gets a kiss. “you're dumb. first question. where did we meet?”

“uc berkeley, six years ago in the asa. the asa, being the asian student association.”

“you remember that so clearly somehow. when did we meet each other’s parents?”

“a few months into when we started dating, i brought you with me to LA for thanksgiving break. and they fell in love with you.” mark chuckles.

“and you met my parents when they came from korea for my birthday. a year after we started dating.”

mark leans over and checks the list. “our first kiss?”

“your lips tasted like apple cider. it was new year’s. probably the cutest, clumsiest, first kiss i’ve ever had. i’d never been that nervous as i was with you. ah. who said “i love you” first?”

“jinyoungie. i don’t know if you guys can tell, but i’m a lot more open about my feelings than jinyoung is. i didn’t tell him anything - _because we both knew_. i didn't want to say anything until i was absolutely _positive_ he loved me.”

“we were having a date and i told mark that i would love to go anywhere as long as it was with him, _because he was the one that i loved._ ”

“that still puts butterflies in my stomach to this day.”

they go through several more questions before mark finishes his list of questions, but jinyoung stops him before he can close the video. “wait, i came up with a question. can i ask it?”

“of course, jinyoungie. go for it.”

jinyoung kisses mark’s forehead, cheeks, and chin before ending at his lips. “marry me?” mark’s eyes widen in disbelief, eyebrows quickly furrowing in confusion right after. “you're joking.”

“not really? i don't have a ring, but i know that you’re the person i want to spend eternity with. you’ve completed me for five years of my life, even if you weren’t there for three, i still knew in my heart that i’d be yours, and you’d be mine.”

“no, jinyoungie, you're joking. really?”

“i’m not. i never would. you’re everything i’ve ever wanted and so _so_ much more. mark tuan, will you marry me?”

“yes, of course idiot, i will.” the last clip of the boyfriend tag is a kiss from their wedding.

_jinyoung park and mark tuan, may 29, 2017. wedding video coming soon._


End file.
